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Unrequited love isn’t healthy, sexy, or funny

July 17, 2014
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As I was driving home listening to the lyrics of Sara Bareilles’s, “1000 times”:

Cause I would die to make you mine
Bleed me dry each and every time
I don’t mind, no I don’t mind it
I would come back 1000 times

I considered how “unromantic” they really are. I understand feeling so much love for a person that you would die for them circa Romeo and Juliet, but this song advocates for something different… To me, it says, “I would die so that you could be with me, and I would keep coming back for you no matter how many times you said no (approximately 1000 times).” This ideology worries me because it is not healthy for men and women to consistently pursue someone who does not and will never love them back the way they want or need. Note: No matter how much you love someone, it is not worth pursuing them 1000 times).

I recently read an insightful article about characters in various television series who continue to pursue women who rebuff their advances constantly. It comes across as funny that this socially awkward guy keeps pursuing the girl of his dreams who either has a boyfriend or is not interested. Brooklyn Nine-Nine calls this the Full Boyle where Detective Boyle endlessly seeks out Rosa and plans dates for them to attend after she always says that she is not interested. NO means NO, yet these television shows inspire men and women to keep pursuing people who do not want them and who may never return the affection. Let’s also consider Joseph Gordon Levitt’s character in 500 Days of Summer. Gordon-Levitt spoke about how unhealthy his character is for obsessing over a woman who has clearly moved on and told him she was not interested. Yet, in the film this comes across as romantic that Tom loves her so much and why wouldn’t Summer be interested in a man that is so devoted to her?

We’ve all had crushes on people (many fictional in my case: Think Jim from The Office and Jack from Lost). However at some point, we make a move or we move on. It is not healthy, sexy, or funny to pursue someone for years who does not love you back or treat you the way you deserve. Robin Thicke should take note of this!

Note: I love Sara Bareilles, and the song is beautiful. I’m just not feeling the meaning behind it.

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